I Opened the Envelope and Found My Heart Inside

I just opened a letter. It was addressed to me, from me. See, a few months ago, I went to a CFO camp with some friends of mine. One of the exercises there was to write a letter. It didn’t have to be to you, it could be to God, but it was just about writing down your feelings. The next morning, you were to fold it up and stick it in an envelope and put the envelope in a box. They promised to send the letter back to you in a few months, so that you could see how much you’d changed. So for months, I'd been dreading ths.
I just received mine. And just cried for a half an hour.
This is what I read:

Dear God,
As I was walking home from Chapel tonight, I looked across the parking lot and saw a sunset. I thought “Isn’t that so pretty?” I don’t know why but I felt so empty. The cool, refreshing wind, so rare in late July, blew and swirled around me and all I could notice was how cold it was. And I don’t know why. I don’t know why I do anything, anymore.
And I miss Mommy so much. Why don’t I ever really talk to her? Why don’t I ever tell anyone my real feelings? If I can’t go a week without her, how am I going to survive college?
I want to be a writer so bad. I’ve worked so hard for it. There’s nothing else. Please.
Why am I still mad at Dad and Grace and Naomi? I want to forgive Daddy, but he scared me so much. What happened to me and Gracey? Why can’t we get along? Why won’t Naomi hang out with me? I want her approval so much.
What if I don’t stop lying? I just feel like I can’t. I’m locked up. I am not as cool as I pretend to be.
I don’t know if this experience has changed me forever right down to my core. I don’t want to say that it has, because it probably hasn’t.
I’m so scared of everything. I’m so tired. I’m so lost. And I just know I’ll wake up tomorrow and shrug it off. But I really wish I wouldn’t.
Your Prodigal Daughter,
Gemma

Interesting thing is, on the other side of the folded sheet of paper, God wrote back:

My Dear Gemma,
The reason you’re crying right now is because you do feel. You feel all sorts of things. That’s how I made you—to laugh, to cry. And you do these things. Just because bad things happen doesn’t mean good things don’t happen.
Rose is missing you, too. She’s in her bed, falling asleep, and she’s sad because she knows that you’re not there to tuck her in. She wants you to tell her things. She’s your mother. She won’t forsake you. She could never hate you, no matter what. I know you want to protect her, but you’re hurting her worse by keeping the situation from her. Children should always talk to their mothers.
I work in mysterious ways. You don’t need to know everything right now. You just need to be open and accepting. Don’t be afraid. You need to trust Me.
You’re mad at your family because there are issues between you that you don’t talk about. You need to explain your emotions to your Dad, and forgive him, without just shoving it off. Grace was your closest sister, but then you two grew up and stopped telling secrets to each other. You need to mend that gap. You need to try. Naomi is very busy, but she wants to hang out with you, too. Talk to her.
Stop pretending to yourself, stop pretending to others, and everything will fall into place.
You can’t shirk all these feelings and expect a relationship with Me to work. I don’t fit in any of your boxes. You really need to mean it. I can’t control you. I can’t give you concrete evidence. But when you are ready for Me, I promise you. I will be here.
You Patient, Vigilant Father,
I AM

Don’t know why, but I felt like sharing that piece of me on a blog site that is open to the entire world, and yet, hardly any of them will read it. Maybe you will use this information for a purpose. Maybe you will use this information as blackmail. Whatever you do, I don’t care. Just use it.